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March 06, 2014

After many instances, elaborately saying it, I get angry quite easily or in an instant, a high-tempered person, especially when my right is violated. I don’t have enough room for patience even for my hubby and son. In short, I easily get frustrated. I never reach to the bottom of any issues. I right away give my thoughts and hastily words. Words that are mostly painful to hear because I don’t roam around bushes for you to understands me, I prepare to shot you with it. Whether you like it or not, I am frank – words shoved to your asshole, some or may be most of my friends would say that I am outspoken in an honest manner. I don’t lie and make stories, that’s my life motto, I am poor and no money, but I have honor and dignity. I stand for it firmly.

Like today, I’ve spoken to someone significant to my livelihood. I felt,I was treated unfairly. Deep inside my throat I felt terrible right now. My right to clarify things pushed me to the level I don’t want to be. Humility stands within, I need this person now for my future plans, and so I keep myself out. Vengeance is not good, but it works well when it’s my turn to play the game, thought it’s quite squarely subtle revenge. All you can hear is “she will be missed”.
posted by lispeth at 11:05 AM | 1 comments
December 12, 2013

It’s not my first visit to my doctor after knowing that I have a positive pregnancy test. At 43 yrs old, I am very excited, it’s kind of, expecting it but not expecting at all. It’s been years expecting a pregnancy but not given a chance, just this time. Though, we had one pregnancy 2 years ago, it was terminated on the 11 weeks due to bleeding and the fetus is not developing or growing inside the womb.
Now, I’m pretty pregnant again without my husband’s knowing that we are having one. Our 9th anniversary is coming and I would tell him by that Day. I had my first visit to my obgyn, and the horrible thing she did down there was done. Woman! I hate the idea of it, that’s why I did not go with my “everything check up down there”, its awkward and hell so shameful. My Obgyn was laughing to her lungs. She said, I was funny, hey! I am naturally funny not making an effort at all.
At 10th weeks, she could not find the heartbeats, and she asked for ultra sound and amniocentesis. December 23 is my scheduled ultra sound for heartbeat and dating-to check when my due date is. Amniocentesis, pushed me to tears and blown my heart away. Do I need to do it? Oh, God what will we do if the baby has Down syndrome or other abnormalities? I’ve been reading a lot about amniocentesis, the risks and feedback to women who have undergone the test. Scared.
posted by lispeth at 7:19 PM | 0 comments
November 30, 2013

I thought that if you’re hooked up with something, you will be alright when you lost it or get rid of it. I maybe really shallow to think that I could not live without this thing/s.  Yes, everything seems coordinated with considerations, patience and the virtue of waiting. It’s been ages now since I started using dental floss. It is part of my after teeth brushing. Then, few days ago I run out of it, I could not buy pronto due to time constrains during weekdays, work-tot’s homework, dinner, breakfast and lunches. I can spare dental floss time during grocery hours that is every Saturday. Four days, I used toothpicks to my every brush. I hate it! But I had to endure.

See, small stuff yet very important to daily personal habits, really conquers your day badly. I have just discovered that personal needs just recently. I proved myself again that “I also freak out when losing small thing”. I don’t know what’s next to be clinging about. Now, I have my dental floss and yes, I am extremely glad.
posted by lispeth at 10:03 AM | 1 comments
September 18, 2013

It’s back to work after a long island hopping. I thought that my company will never call me back to work. Luckily, they need me badly. Weehehehe, I need work right away for Ate Lita’s convenience store so Inday can go to school. Bless me oh God for this work, I need to help someone’s livelihood. I miss the Philippines already, especially, the pedicure and manicure. Darn! Why is it so expensive here Toronto when it comes to Spa? My ingrown is killing me slowly. But, before going gaga about myself, I have something important to prepare, our son is going 8 this Saturday and his excited of his Birthday presents, the presents that we don’t bother wrapping because he asks for particular gifts. Easy for us to shop.
posted by lispeth at 6:50 PM | 2 comments
May 21, 2013

Just after celebrating Victoria Day, I received text messages saying that my mother had a stroke and undergoing CT scan.  She’s still unconscious and diagnosed that half of her body is paralyzed. With these added diseases, how could she live longer when she’s also surviving with hemodialysis. Complications and all, it seems that I should ready myself for the inevitable life riddle. The worst thing is I and my sister is living far away from them. We trust all to the Lord that He will always bless our father with good health, courage and patience to carry the burden by himself, without us their children. Because of greener pasture, we can only cry, extend our moral support and financial support. I don’t wait for the inevitable, we are going home Mama. Live long!
posted by lispeth at 9:42 PM | 2 comments

You must be very lucky hearing your neighbors playing piano or guitar. Our tot plays the keyboard but not good enough, just below so-so or lower level. He just started playing piano. But we enjoy singing along with live sound from musicians friend karaoke time. Not always though, occasionally. But we did enjoyed karaoke last Saturday. I could only cheer and dance with the music, I could not sing. My vocal singing chord is way too flat, that even do re mi are in the same tune. My teenager time, we are not allowed to listen to music or FM radio. I never learn to sing, just sing along with others who sing.
posted by lispeth at 9:40 PM | 1 comments